Truth be told I hated it so much. I wish to be normal whatever that meant I NEEDED to be normal. To me that meant that I did not need to be weighed in the eye of “what does the Bible say about this”.
I grew up in the borders or restrains of a little book I never understood. I despised reading it because I saw it as an obstacle standing between my freedom and me. The freedom to choose what I want to do and be whom I want. My mother would force my brother and me to wake up at 12 for midnight prayer. It was painful because my brother and I were not willing to sacrifice 4hours of sleep for something we had no understanding about, “what is the point of all this” I would ask. We were still young for the type of spiritual commitment our mother wanted us to have. At times, I would want to play dead because it was a drag to get up when all I wanted was to sleep. My mom being the prayer warrior and most referenced woman of God meant my life would be in spotlight. From the way I spoke, who I befriended, the places I went, and the way I dressed up would place me on a high seat, the talk of the community. It was like waving a flag of a team you did not support. I was frustrated because I was far from being closer to God as my mother wanted me to. I started resenting God for not giving my parents understanding so I could make my own choices in life, learn like an ordinary person would or should and for forcing religion down my throat. I always heard the saying “God gives free will” however; in my case, I believed that my free will was given to my parents.
They say we are only a sum of our experiences. I had none except the ‘oh so heavy protection’ from bad and boys, but I never desired the bad. As time went by, I was drawn to what I was told to stay away from. Fighting against flesh I nearly believed that surely I would not die if I did experiment. I ended up experimenting things that would prove the point that I did not need the Christianity chains around me. I wanted to prove that I would be happier, more free, not uptight but living my life the way I desired.
If you see your Pastor’s child outside of church , do not prosecute them for being in an environment that you think they do not belong. They are still humans
- D. Ramokotla and L. Sithole
תגובות