I have found myself running back to the things I had asked God to help me overcome. Be it relationships, addictions, the way of thinking or just anything that tries to remove my focus off God. I would find myself thousand steps back from where I was before I intentionally did wrong. And… NO I was not influenced to do wrong. It was the matters of the heart and what it strived for. .
“…for as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” –Proverbs 23:7 (MEV)
For years, I have been trying to rid myself of the things that kept me back. It is and will never be the easiest thing to do if you’re not constantly seeking Him. “How does a PK get tempted?” We get tempted by the friends we are with and by the things that could be ours but need us to do something in order to obtain it. The devil uses this one technique besides others to lure us into temptation. I am sure you have seen movies and heard that the Pastor’s daughter is expecting or the Pastor’s son is abusing substances. That right there is daylight robbery. Anything worth using to remove you off track is what the devil uses to distract you. In 2017, I thought I had done it right this time and made the runway clear for take-off. Before I knew it I flew face flat to the ground. I was bruised because of a toxic relationship. It is true the devil does not come in red horns and a cape; he comes in everything you had always prayed for. Someone once made a statement “sin is delicious but has painful consequences” I heard what he said but I did not digest it until it was too late. I found myself emotionally attached to someone who was not even close to what I was feeling. It was so strong that I would wake up almost every night when he returned to his home. WEIRD right?... That was the space I was in. Fortunately that was the only attachment I had with any human besides my family and friends. I later realized that this was a distraction and not a blessing. I prayed long and hard for someone who was not willing to change. Instead of preparing for Sunday service, there I was praying to God to bring him home and make him see the light.. I WAS BEING FOOLISH!! When it ended I was over the moon but then I started feeling empty. I started searching for that type of love from whomever I crossed paths with. I did not get far except falling into a pit. It crossed my mind many times to find that cement that would fill my heart. I nearly lost everything I had hid away from the enemy. I had no other choice but to return back to the initial plan that was set out for me. Plan A
I do not have a perfect life, I have done things I am not proud of.
“Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.”-1Chronicles 16:11
I do not know what you have been through but I want to tell you that Jesus saves! There is nothing better, nothing more satisfying than running back to the arms of a Father who will never leave you nor forsake you. I have done stupid things and most of them were intentional. However besides all the stupid things I have done He stills call out my name. His grace still hovers over my head and His mercies? They are literally NEW EVERY SINGLE MORNING!!!!! I have seen His love and I do not mean love through my parents but His love for me. And it is beautiful, amazing love, most precious, most perfect love anyone could/can receive.
I need you to know that you are loved by God. He loves the sinners, the haters, the liars, the cheaters etc. He calls out to you, He yearns for you to feel the love that you have been crying for. It might be love from your father, mother or just love in general. There is no sin that is too great that He cannot forgive you. He created you and He has great plans for you.
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” - Matthew 11:28
He calls "Come Home My child, I have been waiting for you!"
-Nasia.L.Sithole
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